I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize