I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
