Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
