I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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