Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We are two peas in an std pod
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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