I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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