well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
