I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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