My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
