so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
