did you get engaged???
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
