Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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