also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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