oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
