I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
