I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
