I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize