Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
birth control should be required to get into college
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
