okay pat passed out under dana's car
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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