cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
