just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize