he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
