yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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