based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
