Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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