Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
