I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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