All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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