i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
