did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
When did angry sex become our thing?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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