Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
how drunk are you?
Several
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
