We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
