Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
