I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
