found the other keg... it's in the tree
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
