Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
