okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
