i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
