I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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