Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize