I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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