I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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