I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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