the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
