I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
