I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I would fuck him just for his dog
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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