I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
