Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
