I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
