Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Operation Purity has been aborted
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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