how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
