if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
