I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
