i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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