oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
