I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
