I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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