even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
