I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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