I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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