its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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