im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i came on her dog
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
