I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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