Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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