i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
